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Oct. 6th, 2008 10:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reytsmanРаз нашёл повешу ссылку.
A Frenchman, a Texan, and an Israeli are captured by cannibals (Of course, isn't this the norm?). The cannibals explain to their captives that they prefer well-fed meat, so offer each one a last request. The Frenchman proclaims, 'Certainement! Escargot, sauteed in a beure blanc, and a glass of Chateau Margaux 1971!' A few cannibals race off, and return with this meal (where the rest of the Margaux went is another tale). After he finishes his meal, the cannibals toss him in the pot, and start stoking the fire. The Texan declares, 'I'll have a Black Angus porterhouse, two inches thick, cooked medium rare, with a side of taters. And a bottle of Longhorn, while you're at it.' Another group of cannibals runs off, and return with his meal. When he finishes, the cannibals add him into the pot, alongside the Frenchman, who is starting to look a bit peaked.
The cannibals turn to the Israeli, and ask him for his final request. The Israeli looks around, and says, "Please, just kick me in the balls. Really hard." The cannibals look a bit stunned, then, after verifying this is what he wants, do so. As they go to throw him in the pot, the Israeli pulls out a gun, and proceeds to kill the cannibals. He helps the Texan and the Frenchman out of the pot - both looking a bit worse for wear - and the Frenchman gasps, "Why? Why did you not shoot them before they almost killed us all?"
The Israeli replied, "If I'd shot them earlier, you'd have a UN resolution accusing me of disproportionate force up in no time."
http://www.cozikin.com/2006/07/heard_at_a_party.html
A Frenchman, a Texan, and an Israeli are captured by cannibals (Of course, isn't this the norm?). The cannibals explain to their captives that they prefer well-fed meat, so offer each one a last request. The Frenchman proclaims, 'Certainement! Escargot, sauteed in a beure blanc, and a glass of Chateau Margaux 1971!' A few cannibals race off, and return with this meal (where the rest of the Margaux went is another tale). After he finishes his meal, the cannibals toss him in the pot, and start stoking the fire. The Texan declares, 'I'll have a Black Angus porterhouse, two inches thick, cooked medium rare, with a side of taters. And a bottle of Longhorn, while you're at it.' Another group of cannibals runs off, and return with his meal. When he finishes, the cannibals add him into the pot, alongside the Frenchman, who is starting to look a bit peaked.
The cannibals turn to the Israeli, and ask him for his final request. The Israeli looks around, and says, "Please, just kick me in the balls. Really hard." The cannibals look a bit stunned, then, after verifying this is what he wants, do so. As they go to throw him in the pot, the Israeli pulls out a gun, and proceeds to kill the cannibals. He helps the Texan and the Frenchman out of the pot - both looking a bit worse for wear - and the Frenchman gasps, "Why? Why did you not shoot them before they almost killed us all?"
The Israeli replied, "If I'd shot them earlier, you'd have a UN resolution accusing me of disproportionate force up in no time."
http://www.cozikin.com/2006/07/heard_at_a_party.html
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 03:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 03:19 pm (UTC)http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/016443.html
The Republicans' New Anti-Immigration Video Is a Little Over the Top
Hipster girl: What's that?
Salvadorian guy: My benefits card, like food stamps. You could get one!
Hipster girl: Really?
Salvadorian guy: You should! We could barbecue non-stop! For free!
--Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: anyabelisle
no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 03:35 pm (UTC)This joke misses one last phrase:
Date: 2008-10-06 03:55 pm (UTC)Re: This joke misses one last phrase:
Date: 2008-10-06 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 04:16 pm (UTC)Это типа разговор подслушаный к кафе? Тогда причём видео?
no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 04:22 pm (UTC)последние лет дцатьсколько я бывал в тех местах приезжают оформлять фудстемпы.... Большую веру в человечество в меня вселили только "бомжи" которые жили в приюте, питались в приюте, а к нам в вино-водочный приходили бутылки сдать пиво затариться.no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 04:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-06 07:09 pm (UTC)